Here is a very interesting and short article from the Harvard Business Review Blog, "The Best Leaders Are Both Tough and Nice," by Kevin Evers. The answer is in the title, but read the article for some interesting data to support it.
I struggle with the tough versus nice challenge. I want people to like me, which pushes me toward nice. But I worry if I am not tough enough, I'll be a pushover, and I won't get the best from people. It turns out that, like most things, balance is the key. You need some of both to be a success as a leader.
When I think about bosses I have had, I find that I agree with the article, too. Bosses that are too nice risk people not respecting them or not pulling their full load. Bosses that are too tough don't motivate me to do my best. Again, balance is key.
Different strategies work with different people and in different circumstances. Sometimes you want to start off tough and then lighten up, and sometimes you start nice and toughen up. With some people you can be nice most of the time, and with others you have to stay tough more of the time. Learning what works with which people is one of the challenges of leadership.
If you are a leader, be sure you keep both niceness and toughness in your tool kit.
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