The Value of Diplomacy

Do you remember the old adage, "You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar?"  As an administrator, I get lots of vinegar.  So I loved this article by Allison M. Vaillancourt, "Nastiness Does Not Inspire Me to Action."  I have found that some people use rants instead of requests for assistance because they are naive or just don't know that diplomacy works better.  It's only a relative few who are just downright nasty people.

When I receive a rant, I usually wait a day or two to respond, so that I can be sure I am past my initial response of raised hackles.  Usually I respond calmly, and with an apology when it's called for.  With students in particular, I put on my educator's hat and try to teach them something about being more constructive in their attempts to get what they want.  One time I used the word "cyberspace" in a communication to students, and I got back a long rant telling what an old fogy I must be to use such an outdated word.  I responded in a way that tried to make clear that he was addressing a real person and not just a faceless administrator.  But I don't use "cyberspace" anymore.

The value of diplomacy goes the other way, too.  I have to keep my own impatience and certitude in check in order to get what I want from others.  I also love this article from Robert I. Sutton, "12 Things Good Bosses Believe."  Although I like all twelve of Sutton's points, here is my favorite, "Because I wield power over others, I am at great risk of acting like an insensitive jerk — and not realizing it."  So, if you work for me, practice your own diplomacy and find a way to tell me diplomatically if I have acted like an insensitive jerk.  I will thank you for it.