This week I will point you to the fourth and final article by Mark Goulston and John Ullmen, "When You've Done Enough, Do More."

The authors talk about "overdelivering" and doing more than what was expected of you in order to strengthen relationships.  This can pay off in surprising and positive ways.  The article has some great examples, so please read it.  And here is a quote:

When you begin interactions in this way — by doing more, and sometimes even taking a risk in the process — you form instant bonds with people who are tired of being ripped off, manipulated, or given the bare minimum of service. You prove immediately to these people that you have integrity. And they tell other people, who tell still more people.

In fact, you can “do more” for people who have no connection with you at all. Think of this as committing “random acts of doing more.”

In the past year, I have been approached by three newer administrators, all of whom have asked me to meet with them regularly.  In these sessions they have asked my advice, shared their difficulties and successes, and built a valued relationship with me.  I hope I have helped them, and I know they have helped me.  By taking the extra step of meeting with them regularly, I have benefited in ways that I didn't anticipate.

In working with customers, I often take the extra step of making a final follow-up query.  Even when I think their issue has been resolved, I take the time to ask them how they feel about it.  Most of the time, all is well, but occasionally I find that there is a still an unresolved problem.  If I hadn't followed up, they might not have complained, and I would probably never know that I had left behind an unhappy customer.  Taking that extra step pays off over and over again.

Watching Leaders Emerge

Today the Governor of Minnesota, Mark Dayton, visited our campus, along with three legislators and the Commissioner of Education.  Although I could write about the leadership styles of these seasoned politicians, I'm choosing instead to write about the leadership exhibited by the students who spoke during the question-and-answer period.

I estimate that about half of the attendees were students, and in addition to our students from the University of Minnesota Duluth, we also had attendees from the College of St. Scholastica, Lake Superior College, and Fond du Lac Tribal and Community College.  Students from all of these campuses spoke, and they did a terrific job.  I think it takes leadership to get up in front of a large crowd and ask a question.  So many people worry about looking dumb or foolish, but these students overcame these fears in order to speak. 

Here are some of the characteristics I noticed.

• They came prepared.  Many had notes on pieces of paper, and one read from his smart phone.  They used data to support their arguments.  They had clearly thought ahead about what to say.
• They were respectful.  Even those that clearly had a strong opinion behind their statements were careful to speak with care and respect.  There was no name-calling.
• They listened to the responses.  There is nothing more frustrating than a person who asks a question and doesn't wait for the response.  With perhaps one exception, these people were truly interested in the answers.  They were not looking for a debate or trying to push the speakers to give a particular answer.
• They spoke from the heart.  The speakers clearly conveyed how much they cared about the issues they were raising.  This made it nearly impossible to dismiss or ignore what they said.

I was proud of our students today.  They exhibited real leadership as well as critical thinking.  I think we must be doing something right at UMD.

Working Toward Real Understanding

This week I will point you to the third of four articles by Mark Goulston and John Ullmen, "How to Really Understand Someone Else's Point of View." 

The authors talk about how important it is to start from where the other person is in order to influence him or her to get to where you are.  They also talk about three ways to engage others:  situational awareness, personal awareness, and solution awareness.  I encourage you to read the article in order to find out what these three awareness methods are.

Last week I talked about my own tendency to jump to a solution when someone comes to me for advice.  I've been working in IT administration for a long time, so it is easy for me to provide a quick answer.  But this strategy does not help the other person develop problem-solving skills.  And it results in that person continuing to come to me for answers, increasing the number of interruptions I need to deal with. 

Although it may take a bit longer, a better approach is to ask, "What would you do in this situation?" or, "What do you recommend."  If I can make myself do this consistently, I might even find that others have better ideas and novel new approaches. 

Influence By Listening

Today I'll write about the second of a series of articles by Mark Goulston and John Ullmen in the Harvard Business Review Blog.  This one is "For Real Influence, Listen Past Your Blind Spots."  Here the authors describe four levels of listening, which range from hardly listening at all to listening for true understanding.  Of course we would always like to be at the top of the range, but it's harder than it might seem to put your ego on hold enough to really understand what the other person is saying.

I personally find myself quite often at the authors' level 3, where I offer a solution rather than simply listening and letting the other person come to his or her own solution.  This can sometimes be okay, if all the other person wants is a quick decision.  But often people prefer a good ear, especially if the issue is a more complex or troubling one.  I have to work hard to keep my mouth shut and my brain disengaged from its problem-solving mode. 

Read the full article for some great questions you can ask when listening to get you to level four and keep you there.  Practice may not make perfect, but it sure does help you to improve.