Friday, January 10, 2014

Influence By Listening

Today I'll write about the second of a series of articles by Mark Goulston and John Ullmen in the Harvard Business Review Blog.  This one is "For Real Influence, Listen Past Your Blind Spots."  Here the authors describe four levels of listening, which range from hardly listening at all to listening for true understanding.  Of course we would always like to be at the top of the range, but it's harder than it might seem to put your ego on hold enough to really understand what the other person is saying.

I personally find myself quite often at the authors' level 3, where I offer a solution rather than simply listening and letting the other person come to his or her own solution.  This can sometimes be okay, if all the other person wants is a quick decision.  But often people prefer a good ear, especially if the issue is a more complex or troubling one.  I have to work hard to keep my mouth shut and my brain disengaged from its problem-solving mode. 

Read the full article for some great questions you can ask when listening to get you to level four and keep you there.  Practice may not make perfect, but it sure does help you to improve.

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