Reconciling Multiple Stories

Whenever I come across a conflict, I notice how the key to the conflict is almost the different stories the participants bring to the issue.  I have learned that it is almost always best to make sure I hear all of the stories before I start to take any action.

It is mighty tempting to buy into the first, or most recent, story I've heard.  This is especially true when the story is coming from someone I like or respect.  How can they be wrong in what they are telling me?

I counsel patience and further investigation.  Nearly every time, when I hear a different person's story, I find that story makes sense to me, too.  Even if it is about the same issue or incident.  And if there are multiple people involved, then there are multiple stories, and they are almost all different.

The challenge for a leader is to find ways to reconcile these multiple stories and to help the participants become aware of them.  Most of the time we can find common ground and a solution when we listen to each other and integrate these multiple perspectives.

People that have the hardest time with this are those that have a strong tendency toward seeing things as black or white.  These people often miss those important shades of gray, which makes it harder to see the full picture.  If you see yourself in this, just remember that seeing shades of gray is a skill that can be learned, just like most skills.  Take the time to practice and you will surely improve.

Leading Into Retirement

My retirement was announced this week.  I'll be leaving work at the end of May and moving into the next stage of my life. 

This change is bittersweet.  I have been thinking of all the great friends and colleagues that I have worked with over the years.  It seems hard to imagine that I will no longer have the regular interactions with them that I have enjoyed as an IT leader for 22 years.  I like to think that I might still see many of them from time to time, but I know that this will be seldom if ever for many.  It is hard to think of this loss without some regrets.

Nevertheless, this still feels like a great decision to me.  We all have to go sometime, and I'm happy to be going while I am healthy and full of ideas about what to do next.  I am looking forward to managing my time to please myself, at least much of the time.

I have been thinking about all of the great leadership lessons I've learned and how they might guide me in retirement.  I think I still want to plan my time, prioritize my goals, and actively manage my calendar.  I hope I can avoid being one of those retirees who still feels she must manage those around her;  I think my husband would object to that.  But I know building and maintaining relationships will still remain at the top of my list.

I plan to spend the next four months helping the ITSS team prepare for the future.  I know they will do a great job without me.  Ultimately, that's the best payoff for good leadership.